It was a little wierd at first, but not that bad...

I did it, I tried my own breast milk. I had to....the curiosity was killing me.

Here I was feeding Donut for weeks and she seems content with it. And well, I just started pumping so I'm extra curious about my new career as a dairy cow.

It tastes exactly like skim milk...except sweeter.

2 more down...20ish more to go

I'm down 2 more pounds this week. The belly does look smaller, though not necessarily flatter...it's kind of loose and jiggly from being all stretched out. Next week I'll do a side by side comparison photo of the last prego pic to current belly.

I always thought I'd be a certain kind of mom....

And I still do, but I am surprised at my own reactions sometimes.

For example. I am not a clingy person and was pretty clear from the beginning that we would never have a family bed where all the kids sleep in the same bed with the parents and that Donut would move to her room relatively quickly so that parents can get decent sleep especially when Forrest goes back to work.

So - to date, we have never slept in the same bed with Donut. I think I would have too much anxiety about accidentally rolling onto the baby, that I couldn't do it. But we have had Donut in her stroller bassinet sleeping in our room so that it would be more convenient to do the wee hour feedings.

Two nights ago we adjusted some furniture in our room so Donut was sleeping near Forrest's side of the bed and I had separation anxiety. I even tried proposing to Forrest that we switch sides so I could be closer to Donut. HA

Last night we moved Donut into her room and she slept in her crib. I had a hard time sleeping last night too...we had the door open and the baby monitor on and I still woke up literally every hour or so with anxiety. Of course, Donut was totally fine and slept peacefully...only to wake up once at 3am for a feeding and diaper change.

Who knew - I would have such separation anxiety from the Donut when she's only 20 feet away?

My Nemesis

This dirty little contraption in our office is the bane of my existence. It taunts me everyday to get on it and see what my current weight is.... It doesn't help that my mom obsesses about my weight as well. So to torture myself, I basically weigh myself everyday - but at least I try to do it in the mornings before I eat anything LOL. So far I've gotten down to 160 which is a 21 pound loss since delivering Donut. That still leaves 25 more to go...

Holy Falafel

Yesterday we were down in San Jose for some appointments and had lunch at Falafel drive in. The day before there was a "Throw Down" episode on the food network featuring falafels so I suggested to Forrest that we hit up the Falafel drive in. He was down - saying that's a great idea. When I told him I had never been there, he was confused.... When we got there, realizing that it is next door to the korean restaurant that I grew up going to literally every week for just dinner or for functions (it is one of the only korean restaurants with banquet facilities) I was even more dumbfounded. My mom was confused too stating, "isn't this a burger shop? all these years, I had no idea what this place was."

We ordered 2 falafel sandwiches, 1 gyro, 1 hummus plate, 2 banana shakes and 1 pineapple shake. FREAKING Delicious - behold the mighty power of the garbanzo bean :) Definitely making a return trip the next time I am in the south bay.

My boob overfloweth

In leading up to the birth of our baby, Forrest and I tried to be prepared for all contingencies by being flexible with our plans. For Example, we bought a few different types of diapers...had formula and breast feeding supplies on hand because you just never know if things will work the way you want them to. Especially with breastfeeding, I was preparing myself for any outcome as I had heard more stories about the difficulties as compared to it's joys.

That said, having a c section also adds a layer of complexity to this. Because the body isn't going through labor some of the hormones and body processes that happen during a vaginal birth, doesn't happen so oftentimes it makes it harder for c section mommies to nurse right away. So with the chips stacked against me, I just expected to supplement from the get go...

The baby came on Friday...and my milk came in on Sunday - about a whole 3 days before the doctors/nurses expected it would. Even the lactation consultant didn't believe me. And now, my boob runneth over...by like a lot - I'm not quite sure what to do. Donut basically chokes while nursing because there is too much milk...hmmm And to make things more uncomfortable for me, my left boob is about 2 cup sizes bigger than my right boob...ha! I am constantly going through nursing pads like it's going out of style and filling up the nursing shells until they reach the vents and soak through my shirt. I am really hoping this levels out to Donut's consumption levels soon so I can leave the house without feeling like my chest is going to explode. Apparently there is so much and it flows so quickly that the pediatrician has actually told me that I can feed Donut less...

It's all a blur to me...

So I'm week 2 into maternity leave and I'm either feeding the baby or all over the internet. Thank you jeebus for the computer and internet as I can nurse Heidi and check email or post on facebook at the same time so I don't feel too disconnected from the great big world out there.

Forrest has one more week after this week and will be going back to work in June so I wonder if I'll fall off the deep end of isolation after that. Granted our new room mate is super cute but she's not the best conversationalist just yet.

All the days seem to blend together too, into one BIG day. With our schedules now being dictated by the little miss, we just operate on a 3-4 hour rotation where we repeat the steps over and over again...

Baby on the outside

And why the hell is there still so much belly on the inside? This picture was taken the day we came home from the hospital, a whole 4 days after Heidi was born. It is basically the same size it was as when I went into the hospital on Friday. I know people said expect to look like you're 6 months prego but this? this is HUGE lookin...and unfortunately, unlike pregnancy where it is firm and full of baby, it's soft and squishy.

I just weighed myself today...in honor of Donut's one week birthday and well, my mom and Forrest were discussing my weight loss needs during lunch today. My mom stressed how I had to get back in shape in about 6 months otherwise it will never come off while Forrest asked if I had weighed myself yet. Meanwhile they were both guessing at what my current weight was. I am so glad to be a source of amusement for the both of them...lol.

So here's the deal -

• Pre-pregnancy = 135 pounds (my fighting weight and a size 4 to boot!)
• At delivery = 181 pounds (size? who knows when all I wear are PJs)
• One week post delivery = 170 pounds (bleh...)

I had a goal of running a marathon in December as my weight loss / get back in shape plan, but we'll have to see how the healing goes because I am not sure if I can make that distance or not just yet.

We are Family.....I got all my....

So in order to provide an easy way to keep the family (grandparents) up to date on all of Donut's latest developments, we created a new blog where I censor myself - haha. I figured that is easier than trying to censor myself here...

Check out our family blog...

Latest Developments...

Before and after....
On Friday May 8th we had an emergency c section to deliver our baby girl a few days earlier than expected due to low amniotic fluid levels... Today is Tuesday the 12th and we just got home. - funny thing is today was the original day we were supposed to have Heidi. I'm glad we got her a few days earlier to enjoy her company over the weekend.

Maternity Leave Day 1

Today I start my leave....I have one week off to just putz around the house, catch up on things and take some long awaited mid day naps before our scheduled c section on May 12th.

So far it's Monday morning 10:32 am and I have gone swimming, made and eaten breakfast, blogged and surfed the web. What else to do? I've been up since about 6 am and won't be ready for a nap until at least around 2 pm.... I am physically incapable of sleeping in at this point in my pregnancy.

I guess I could go to the nursery and buy some replacement herbs for the ones I killed recently. Or I could sit here in front of my computer all day, surfing the web...so it's like I'm still at work - ha! This may take a little getting used to.

Movie Review: X-Men Origins Wolverine

On Saturday we hit up the movies with the bro...Sam was over in the afternoon and had lunch with us and the Chinns...then stayed to do his laundry. So around dinnertime, we all decided to head out to watch X-Men Origins (or just the "wolverine movie") down at AMC Van Ness because they had like a million showings every 2 seconds.

We rush out of the house around 6pm to try and make it to the 630 showing only to discover this HUGE line out the door - ACK we thought we were totally hosed until we noticed that... the entire line was just filled with dudes.. dudes that all looked like they walked out of a leather bar in SOMA - we're talking polar bears. When we finally get up to the ticket counter, we ask about the 630 showing and the guy says "oh yeah, you guys are fine.. We only sold 50 tickets for that showing." Which made us even more curious about what the hell was going on at the 7pm showing.

As for the movie itself? I of course found it totally entertaining! I do love the weapon X backstory and thought Liev Schriber was a fantastic Sabertooth. The whole origins could have definitely stretch out to a few movies but I like the particular focus on Wolverine.

Chester did point out that I do have low standards for movies...but if being entertained is a low standard then yes...I have low standards.

Visit from Craig & Susan

The Chinns stopped by on Saturday to check out our pad as they had sick kiddies in the past when we were hosting some parties at the new digs. Ethan is so big now it's kind of crazy...I swear he's as tall as I am these days. But we were all chatting about the size of his head, which doesn't look big until they have to try on sunglasses or helmets - and to that note he borrowed uncle Forrest's glasses and they fit perfectly. Forrest does have a narrow, longer face so it was funny to see little Ethan crusing around in his glasses. And I cannot believe how little Leah is going to be 1 in just a few weeks!!!! Has it been that long already? Fingers crossed that our C goes well and recovery is swift so we can stop by Leah's birthday party :)