Thursday, June 16, 2005

My mom is MORE asian than your mom

Hanging out with the LVH on tuesday night we gabbed about who is most plauged by the "asian-ness" of their mothers. What we mean by "asian-ness" is that thing that asian, jewish, italian or catholic mothers do...you know what I am talking about: guilt, overly-critical, blah blah, blah....so here are some highlights of mom conversations I have experienced. These are my favorites from throughout the years

M: Are you pregnant?
B: No
M: Are you sure?
B: Yes, I'm positive...why?
M: Oh, OK. Then maybe you should join the gym.

M: You know what? You should lose some weight.
B: Why? I'm a size 6
M: Because boys don't want to marry fat chicks.

M: You should stop taking your "period pills" (birth control).
B: Why?
M: Oh because that's why you're fat. You know in Korea, only emaciated women take those pills so they can gain weight.
B: No.
M: Well maybe you should stop drinking. Or you could stop eating at night.

Sam told me the other day that mom went to him to ask him to help me lose some weight. And you people wonder why I have such a weight complex.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have conversation #2 with my mother 3 times a week...not kidding.

Anonymous said...

We have these same discussions at work, since most of my coworkers are size 1 and originally from HK. And they complain about how fat they are all the time...

Anyway, here's the explanation to share with your mother:

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks and a lower rate of obesity than the British or the Americans.

On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks and a lower rate of obesity than the British or the Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks and a lower rate of obesity than the British or the Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks and a lower rate of obesity than the British or the Americans.

Conclusion: Eat and drink whatever you like. It's speaking English that kills you.

Anonymous said...

engrish is the devir

Anonymous said...

Oh my god. So freakin' funny!

Malibu Betty said...

My dad said to me once "you're legs are pretty thick"

really