Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Starship Houston

Howdy You'all...
I'm hanging out in Houston right now....it's over 90 degrees and with humidity so thick that it hits you like a brick wall when leaving an air condidtioned building. I can't stand humidity and that is quite possibly the thing I hate the most about Texas and the fact that everything seems a bit TOO spread out, making drive times sometimes ridiculous.

However, there are some things that I find absolutely FABULOUS about Texas:
  • Parking Spaces: They are all fucking huge! I could park my mid size rental car perpendicular within the parking space and still have plenty of room for my 3 point turn to get out. California could learn a few things from this.....with all the fucking soccer mom SUVs out there, they could stand to increase the width of parking spaces just a tad.
  • Food: I went to the Ragin Cajun again...dozen oysters for $3, crawfish and other southern specialties. BBQ is also good here...kick ass smokehouse ribs - and any meat variety is GOOD.
  • People: Everyone is soooo nice here and polite saying their please's, thank you's, ma'am, sir...chivalry is not dead here my friends and I don't mind.

But...there was the Fuddruckers debacle on Tuesday night.
I took the 6am flight out of SJC to Houston on Tuesday morning and didn't really get a chance to eat anything all day so when I finally checked into my hotel and had some time for food...I went searching. Nearby was a Fudruckers...and although it's one of those chain restaurants, I've always wanted to try one - having seen them all over the midwest. I went in and ordered the Original Chicken Sandwich and a Regular Soda. Imagine my surprise when I got my order.

My sandwich was fucking HUGE. The diameter of my sandwich was at the very least 9 inches across. I needed to form a bowl like structure with my hands to support the bottom half of my sandwich in order to start eating. When I went to the produce bar to lead up my sandwich...I needed something like 5-6 tomato slices to cover my sandwich. It was like a schnitzel on a bun.

My regular soda cup was presented to me. HOLY CRAP - the circumfrence of my soda cup was relatively equivalent to a 2 liter bottle if it were to be sliced in half and used as a cup. I needed to use 2 hands to hold the damned cup upright while I filled it at the soda station.

I was able to eat maybe 1/3 of my sandwich and drink 1/2 my soda. I shamefully left my sandwich behind and got a to go cup for my beverage which I still wasn't able to finish 2 days later. No wonder Texas boasts 5 out of the 10 cities on the fattest cities of America list.

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