Houston, we have a problem

All things considered, I love the middle states of America. I am strangely attracted to the midwest...maybe it's the big cars, nice people, the food...the wide open range....uh...cowboys? Can't explain but I love it. Although I could never live there....especially Texas..and now, especially Houston, TX.

Things I love about Texas

• Barbeque - the food in general
  
• Nice People..they're so polite and they smile
  
• Southern Drawl
• BIG TRUCKS
  

Things I hate about Texas

• Humidity
• Hot
• Weather
• No beaches
• No mountains
  

Case in point, I have never seen so many pear shaped men in a single city...it is the fattest city in America. Additionally the city limits of Houston are rather large....the entire bay area might be like half of Houston. Wide but flat (kinda like me). But believe me, I'll be back (just not in the summer) for some BBQ, tex mex and cheap beer.